Love is in the air. And as someone who is married, I should be excited about this day but for me, it is not worth all the fuss. And I get it! People love love, love the idea of love and love being in love. But did you know that in 2017, people in the US spent an estimated 18 billion (that is nine zeros people!)? And in 2018, it is projected that people will spend $19.6 billion. Just like weddings and other events/holidays that show affection, prices are jacked up and people are willing to spend whatever amount is on the price tag. However, I am not one of those people and this day isn’t worth the hassle.
Here are some of the reasons why I will be skipping it this year (and probably every year after 2018):
Different love languages
For those who have never heard of the Five Languages, the author outlines five ways to express and experience love. He listed receiving/giving gifts, spending quality time, receiving/giving words of affirmation, performing acts of service, and physical touch.
Most people have a different love language than their partner. Which can make one feel unappreciated if they do not understand how their loved one expresses love/appreciation. So the next time your significant other washes and folds the laundry even though they hate it and that act of service goes unnoticed by you, realize that they are showing you how much they care for you and say “thanks, honey I appreciate you”.
I am not big on gifts, but I do believe that based on what I have read I am one of those people whose love language is quality time. I just want to have 30 minutes of no TV, phones or outside distractions. Let’s have a conversation where we are looking at each other and not a screen. Spending time together should happen often and not just on Valentine’s day.
Don’t be a follower
I don’t want a gift, card or flowers on February 14th because you feel obligated to give me something. Don’t buy something because someone told you that is how you show someone that you love them. I would much rather you show me random acts of love. For instance, if you know your significant other has had a rough week, offer to give them a back rub or cook their favorite meal. This will make them feel special and they will appreciate the gesture. The small things are the best because that’s what keeps us going.
Other random acts of love include putting a love notes in their briefcase or lunch box, sending a text message or bringing home their favorite boneless short ribs from MarketPlace on a Friday. This is how you show that you care about each other.
It is Expensive AF
I checked prices here and I wanted to scream at the madness. If you want to show your special someone that they mean the world to you, this is what you will spend on just the basics:
12 red roses: $200 (plus $15 for delivery)
Box of chocolates: $30
Card: $10
Dinner: $150 to $300 (or more depending on the restaurant and percentage of gratuity)
That means you are spending roughly $400 to $550 for one night. Not to mention someone might want to wear a new outfit and shoes to look good for you. Also, getting a haircut or her hair and nails done, the presents you will buy each other (if you are trying to pull out all the stops). I would personally take all of that money and set aside $50-100 per month for a date night. Because there are a lot of things you can do with that kind of budget.
PS. Big Brother Big Sister will do Sing-a Grams for $125-$150 depending on if you order the guitar or not and $75 for a poetry reading.
Oh, the Pressure!
Whether you are trying to outdo what you did in the previous year or outdo someone you know, planning the perfect day/night out can be extremely stressful. I am not the most creative person so I know it can be hard to come up with something original every year. Not to mention the cards they have for you to send to your parents and siblings and even your pet. If you don’t buy something that is red, heart-shaped or chocolaty, someone will be hurt.
I swear people just celebrate so they can talk about what they did, what they received, say how amazing and special it was or to have a nice Instagram picture. Is it sickening!
Now, I am not saying that you shouldn’t celebrate Valentine’s day or that you shouldn’t make your significant other feel special, but for me personally, the day is not worth it. And I will not celebrate it, nor do I expect anything from the Hubs. He doesn’t need to buy me things I do not need nor want, in an effort to show me that he loves me.
Flowers die, a box of chocolates will make me fatter and I am not big on keeping cards (try to have as little things in the house as possible). But I will go to mini golf on February 19 or to a movie on March 28. If I leave before he gets up, I will put a cute note on the fridge or surprise him at work with lunch. Like I said, it is the small things that matter and I am not going to save the gifts and affection for February 14.